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Sunday, February 27, 2011 at 7:16 AM
Dear reader, Okay, gonna start on today. Woke up at 11, switched on the computer and whatever, and finally settled down on my computer. Then went to play dragonica for awhile. And today, i actually had an outing with the others. But then ended up not going as max couldn't made it due to family dinner, and so roughly, i estimated that jh wouldn't go too. So yea, continued playing dota and stoning most of the time. And yea, you know, despite i said i would forget her, its kinda hard for me, i don't know why, but my heart didn't really felt satisfied. But then, what's done is done isn't it? Hahahs, i realized that, i DO stone most of the time, i'm not sure why, but it's becoming a habit, good or bad, i'm not sure. I also want to thank my cousins, Marcus Chia and Nico Chia for consoling me that time, and telling me stuffs, well, at least they did managed to talk some sense into me. Was not really logical, but i accepted it in the end. :) And, going on, i'm wondering. Since this was the path i chose, what can i do now? Live on being a single, or wait for a girl that loves me? Or maybe even, don't find? But thinking it through, I'm vier! The always happy go lucky vier, which is always finding a stead. So i decided, to both, study and find a girl that's worthy. If i'm unable to, i'll just study till N's are over, so that i'll have even more time to find one. 1st Optimistic post of the year uh. Gambatteh Vier san! ^^ |
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Saturday, February 26, 2011 at 4:44 AM
Dear reader, Right.. I've decided to give her up to sj. Well. Since i can't do anything about it. Nor change the fact that i WILL lose. Seems like this is the only option left for me i guess. Also, i'm going to start on having optimistic thoughts. Although i doubt that i have the ability to hold on for a rather long time. Before i thought of all this, i was thinking what if she still likes me? What if she rejects him? What if she was sad, after looking at all those post about her? Even so, i didn't want to do this, but i guess, its for the better. For both her and me, i guess. So, as for the guy, i just wanna say to him, if you ever get her, treat her well, and care for her. She's a really nice girl. Just that she's a little pessimistic, but i believe you can change that. Good luck and last long when you get her. :) And so, i'm thinking of whether to lock my heart or not, since i'm always hurt so much, but then, i guess its alright, since i'm used to it. Maybe someday the right girl might come for me i hope. So yea, Last long you guys. (Should know who you two are.) |
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Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 4:41 AM
愛するもの読者、 私は日本語を入力することに決めました。 その、私はどこで、そして、どの程度、将来にいるつもりです。確かな人生は、今日苛酷です。私は彼女の多くに向かって話して、iが彼女その他がいくらであるのを好むかについて、彼女にさえ話したしかし結局は、私は思います、私はまだ負ける終わりにいます？Soonjieには、確かに私に勝る最も高い利点があります。私の見苦しさと短かさのために。私はやられます。そのweihongケースを同じです。どんなに固くても、私は試みました。私は、まだやめなければなりませんでした。私は、生き続ける際に動機づけも失っていて、勉強してもいます。私は、ちょうど運命が私があればあなたに知らせるものに我慢することができません？私は深刻に似ているということを意味します、なぜ、女の子はすべてハンサムな人々を呼びに行きますか。そして、醜い人々は私自身が好きで、棚で捨てられます？ため息をついてください。私は、これにうんざりしています。私は、本当に再び泣きたい気分です。おそらく、2、3のpanadolsは、本当に助けます。iを望みます私の人生を変えます。 そして、私がこのポストで話している人に。私は、alotに本当にあなたを愛しています。しかし、あなたがsoonjie.に伴うほうを選ぶならば、私は推量します。Thatsが問題なくて、長いように、あなたは幸せです。あなたは、私自身のような敗者に決して満足でありません。ＯＫ。ありがとう、さよなら。 |
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Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 9:05 AM
Dear reader, Ahaha, i'm such a failure in life. Yup, i do have low self-esteem. Too bad, That's the way i am. Can't change it no matter what. Afterall, all the girls i liked, slowly got snagged one by one by other guys, Couldn't even get one of them. Sigh. I'm a 160cm and a ugly douche. Ain't that right? Facts can' be changed. Just like trying to wash ink from a shirt. I'm always wondering why. Why me? Out of the few billion people in the world. Why am i fated to be like this? I'm really hoping someone or something can really give me a good explanation on how the fuck am i so fucked up. I'm also probably one of the weakest guys too. Cries over girls, Envy, jealousy. It really sucks being me. Wished i could really have a changeover in life or a miracle. It's already late February, n's are approaching and yet i still have to worry over stuffs like this. Pathetic mindset. Pathetic brain. I really wanna be a person without a heart and emotionless. But that would only lead me to depression. So i'm still stuck at the very point of step 2. And now there's a tri-lane. Left: Down panadols like i used to. Middle: Move on ahead with still a very pessimistic thoughts Right: Just rot and die. Perhaps i'll still be stuck at this point even a few days before n's. Also, i'm starting to lose interest in living on. Seriously, it sucks. Whatever i do, nothing goes right. And, i'm thinking that i'm a hindrance to max and others. Sigh. I still prefer the plan of isolation which i went through when i was young. Now, thinking through, i really missed being a kid. Living on freely, no need to worry about anything. Also, i regretted finding a stead during secondary 2. Which led me to this pathetic life of a fool. I just don't get it, why can't i get a really really REALLY nice girl and settle down with her. Instead of some dyke cheating my feelings and timing me. Earlier on, i nearly cried too, due to my thinkings and so on, lost my mood and kept quiet. After that left max and jh for awhile to walk around. Still couldn't help but think of it. Why am i so short? Until girls has to shun me. And why was i born ugly, until not even one girl wants me? It's all getting up to my head. Due to that, i'm damn stress, and i feel feverish. God damn. I'm really hoping i would die, because all the things i want seems to be part of a fairytale, therefore, probably i'll die and maybe live on in a life far more better than this, shitty weak ugly and short body. |
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Sunday, February 20, 2011 at 6:26 AM
Dear reader, Hmm.. Wondering where to start on. Guess i'll start with the audition couple of mine. Well, We're sort of having a cold war and i guess, breaking up is inevitable? Afterall, i said i didn't really had the love feeling for her. Oh well. Right now, i'm still experiencing the life of an single. Really has some good points in it, but still, i prefer being attached, but at least i think now, i'm getting the patience to wait for the right girl. Hopefully, she'll come by soon uh? :\ and spent most of today talking to baolian. She's an retarded person which loves to speak highly of herself. Which makes her my rival. Hahahas, but still, she's a good friend ^^ Although many things used to happened between us. Alright, gonna end the post here, gaming time yea. |
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Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 12:40 AM
Dear reader, Sometimes, i wonder, how is it that i can counsel others but not myself. It's truly a wonder :O And now, i'm starting to maybe think slightly positively, but i might change my personality into a sarcastic one. Well, who knows~ The answer lies in me. It's 6 days more to valentine's day. Gosh. I'm still not taken. I'm so damn screwed i swear. Never ever had a valentine before too. Hah, I'm still wondering if anyone would bother to take me :\ Since i'm so ugly, doubt so. Hah, So i'mma hop in my bed and get off to my dreams. Nights :) ! P.S: Will try to update my blog everyday. |
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