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Thursday, January 20, 2011 at 2:31 AM
Dear reader, Sigh, okay. Stress has gotten me. I'm screwed. Now i can't work nor think of any ideas for my n level dnt project. And Jh's right, its just like what he said, i didn't change at all. I'm still the same old javier, who relies on panadols and emo to solve my problems. I'm also still full of negativeness. Sigh, pathetic life of mine. Why can't you improve? I know i'm being an idiot by asking for the impossible. But seriously, i've been tolerating this for a effing long time. It's still the same no matter who i pray to, god, devil, or whatsoever. No one can ever pull me up. And what's worst, Someone even said i'm too fierce, that's why i'm at this state. Seriously, What does fierce-ness and my life has to do with each other? There's not even a single connection. God damn. Why can't i just get anything i want? Sigh. It's not that i don't want to change, but the events happening is preventing me from doing it. Even if i did like a girl, tried to woo her, in the end. I got nothing. NOTHING. So, What's the use? Of being positive, telling others my problem? All they do is give tips. And act as though they know me and my life. Please, No one has ever tasted my life. Once they did, maybe i'd listen to them. Even the n's are pulling me down, especially dnt. I don't even have the confidence to do it. Effing stress you know? Somemore i'm lacking of the time to do the stuffs i want. I'm definitely on my way to having depression. And maybe commit suicide or something. Sigh. Wished everything could still improved thou. |
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